Flowers and Plants are silent presences. They nourish every sense except the ear

Aloha Frands !

I am gonna get straight to the point on this one…… EVERYONE isn’t meant to be a plant mom or dad….

**Mic Drop**

SHOCKING…. and a bit hurtful but it had to be said. Listen, each day I witness , on my timeline, a new plant entering into new a captive’s hands, removed from the local nursery or Lowes and beginning their stroll down the Green Mile to their potential demise. And it’s not that the captives seek out to execute their beloved green babies, but the lack of knowledge and preparation is what leads to them to becoming a casualty. I know this process so well because I experienced the same transition with my own plant children.

Le Sigh” Pour a little Miracle Gro for the lost ones”

It’s no secret that plants have become an integral part of our daily lives since quarantine living has become the norm. Plants come into your life and provide you with a sense of purpose and routine with watering, feeding, and sunlight dosing. In addition, there is something so holistic and healing about creating a space in your home( that we live, work, create in) that inspires us to nurture and is inviting. So much so, that when we have an opportunity to get another hit, we run out and grab a new plant (or 10) and the next thing we now, a mini rain forest is flourishing in our living room. And live happily ever after amongst our oasis in the city.

But it doesn’t always end like that. Sometimes our sweet little green babies turn into dry as a bone, brown and shriveled up shadows of the plants we use to know. Picture the poor unfortunate souls in the Little Mermaid…. Yep, just like that. Their sickness or death is a sign that probably means the leg work was not done before bringing them home or even after. What this doesn’t mean is:

Your thumb is brown and clueless ( I mean, maybe just a little but that can change)

Plants hate you and are here to torment your life

You’re are a failure.

But that is exactly how I felt when my plants began to die on me. Lord, it was the WORST feeling ever! In less than thirty days of bringing my four girls home( Purple Reign, Hot Girl Summer, Gizelle(in ICU… we’re hopeful), Maria Saint Claire(RIP), from Femme Fatale and Jungle Bloom, I had lost two of them and didn’t know why. And that’s when I realized that vanity drove me to purchase my green babies but cluelessness killed them. I didn’t have a clue who they were and how to take care of them. After pulling myself out of a plant endorsed depression ( it is real , I tell you!), I was able to reflect on where I went wrong and how I would do better in the future to avoid being in this space again. That is why, before my next purchase, I will be implementing these steps in preparing myself to be a plant mom again.

1) SAY MY NAME: When I went into Femme Fatale to search for my first plant purchases, I was turnt LOOSE and on the move! I was looking for the flyest, most unique, and colorful plant in the building… And hunni, I grabbed four of them and took them home. It wasn’t until three days later that I actually looked up their names and found out WHO exactly I had brought into my house. Using apps such as PictureThis and Planta, to identify my plants, their care plans, and diagnose any funny business, I was able to put a name to a leaf. I was officially a parent to a Zebra Plant, Pin Stripe Plant, Boatlily, and Prayer Plant…. for now.

2) CHECK UP ON IT: Before purchasing, do your research first on what type of plant may thrive in the environment you have. If you live in a low light, damp environment, getting a plant that requires lots of natural light may not be the best move. Plants require different kinds of love, affection, and attention. It is up to you to determine if you’re in a space and have the capability to provide such. I have learned that I do not currently live a life that is conducive to a tropical plant. I swear! I don’t have the time nor the temperament to handle the neediness of a tropical plant… Are they a Gemini!? Cause, girl! whew.

3) Murder She Wrote: As a plant parent, there will be a time or five, that you will be the doctor and executioner to a plant baby. It will hurt beyond your imagination because even though it is just “ a plant",” it is also a reflection of your abilities as a nurturer and if you can’t keep it alive and thriving, how the hell will you manage to care for i.e your children, your dreams, and aspirations. I’ve been there. Shoot, I currently LIVE there. After slowing the dramatics, I realized that I needed to accept my part in the demise of the lost ones and dedicate to do better to my current and future purchases. That means educating myself on what kind of plants work best with my lifestyle and environment, creating a space where this new venture is fun and not a chore and practicing patience. The one thing about your plant babies is that they live on their own terms and will flourish on their own timeline, not yours. You just provide the tools needed and sit back and wait.

Being a plant parent can be rewarding and fulfill you on many levels. It can also be stressful and emotionally draining. For you to get what you need out of this partnership, you have to find the balance on how you handle the ups and downs and that begins with perspective. The goal is to celebrate the accomplishments of a new blooming leaf as well as learn how to care for a sick plant without feeling like either is a projection on your own value and capabilities. At least this is what I am learning as I continue down my journey of being a plant mom. I send all the plant parents out there, struggling to find your groove, love and light, as we find our way and try to keep our babies alive. And to the parents that have found their stride, you all are the real MVPs and keep sharing your tips and knowledge, they are priceless. But lets be clear, the way my tan thumb is set up, my next move will be a cactus . #deadass